DeathBoy (deathboy) wrote,
DeathBoy
deathboy

Further oscillations

Had a really good day, today, quite unexpectedly.

Work went really well and we scored some huge and much-deserved wins.

Then, out of nowhere, a well-loved friend I said ello to lashes out and makes me feel like I'm an ugly teenager in the fucking club, surrounded by the cool, attractive types who're all laughing in my face because I don't belong and it's funny that I once dared to cop off with somebody.

Now I feel useless and fucking pointless again.

So that's awesome.

Additionally, somebody I like (not a goth - amazing, eh?) and had got very close to has, for no fucking reason, just decided to go off me, like I'm yesterday's fucking salad. I don't even know what I've done. Literally think they just saw enough of me to go 'yeah, done that now, bored. next.'

Piss to this for a game of chips.

I'm going to go and have a bath and do a fucking cry in the dark, I reckon.
Tags: moping like a fucking goth
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  • 9 comments
I know that feeling. People that I thought were friends suddenly put a great big gap between me and them, without ever talking to me about whatever it was I might have done.

Doesn't happen often, but when it does it's really painful.
yeah. it's not a good feeling. makes me generally negative about trying to meet new people. what's the point? :/
There's a definite problem finding the difference between "People who are going to behave like adults when there are issues and come talk to you" and "People who will just drop you like a stone."

It's lucky that the former are well worth talking to, and make life better.
Hey. There may be no point in telling you that there is no point in feeling useless and pointless -but I still feel I have to say that to you. Some of us out there love you, man. I suspect that is all we can expect but it is not worthless or pointless. Hope it all passes soon.

It was very very good to see you last night, btw.
Thank you, dude. I very much appreciate you coming on out, it was lovely to see you as always! :)
That really sucks. I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
thanks, hon. it's alright, just made me grumpy as fuck. it'll be fine.

Meh sorry to hear you're having a hard time, you have enough friends that you can tolerate the temporary loss of a couple even if you were enjoying their company.  Sometimes people back away for reasons that are nothing to do with how they feel about you.. maybe they're an introvert and after a few weeks of being sociable they have to hide and regenerate.  Maybe they're bipolar and they're staying away for your own safety!  Maybe they're just a bit of a cunt naturally and they were making a special effort to be charming just for you,  but it was too hard and they slipped up..


Hope you have a good holiday xx



I'm sorry. Been there. It's an awful place and I totes gave it a One Star on Yelp.

FWIW, you always have us LJnistas who wuvs you 'n shit.