DeathBoy (deathboy) wrote,

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Goths / Rave music

Have realised while in conversation with a friend that rave music was, essentially, a pesticide developed to exterminate those goths that survived the end of the 80s.

Unfortunately, it had the effect of creating a superstrain of nearly unkillable gothics who were immune to most dance music.

Now, only the most gratuitous and toxic forms of dubstep may be used to correctly exterminate unwanted goths shambling around your dancefloor, and there are stories of a new strain that can even survive the most poisonous basslines.

Similarly, the Steampunk breeding program has been only partially successful in creating a form of watered-down goth which is marginally more jovial and can form actual sentences, but they too have defeated their original purpose by developing the ability to camouflage themselves against rust and kill even the most hardy DJ with long, tedious stories about their favourite shade of brown.

I don't even want to go into the Cybergoth debacle. Essentially, somebody stuck a strobe up a goth and couldn't get it back out. They do at least seem to be slowly disappearing up their own complete lack of relevance, but MAN they lasted longer than we thought.

You can actually get rid of Steampunks and Cybers by breeding them together, but guess what you get?


It's the ciiiiircle of liiiiife.

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